Struggling in a world of limitations

What if every judgement is only a projection of our mind? Something that reflects ourselves without being consciously aware of it, yet? What if the only relationship we are in is the relationship with ourselves, and the judgement is just a way to see ourselves? To experience a part of our nature that we are used to hide?

Our mind is constantly judging the things around us. Based on conditioning or past experiences we like certain things and we reject others. Our mental state is hardly ever neutral or blank, our thoughts almost never still. Even subconsciously we feel pulled into a certain direction, towards a certain person or idea, or get pushed away from what we intuitively perceive as unconducive for ourselves. Do we really know what real life is if all our conclusions are based on (subconscious) mind-made concepts and mental judgements?

As long as we are humans and our brain works, there is projection. Polarity creates experience. That's the way it works. We perceive something by mentally separating it from the opposite or something that is at least different, by mentally separating it from ourselves. Our mind creates are dual world for our soul to experience and grow, and probably also, to justify its own existence.

Our thoughts create our reality and the way we perceive things. Basically they influence our whole external and internal environment, including emotions, feelings and our health. Studies have shown that we think repetitively the same things over and over again. In an average day 80% of all the things we think we thought yesterday already. And what's worse is the fact that we mostly think negatively. Journeying through life we might learn how to keep our mind more still and our thoughts clean, how to meditate, how to focus on positive things and how to find gratitude, appreciation, compassion and even love. Mental hygiene is the new statement. And it works!

Everyone's responsible for him or herself on that trip. So what about the environment we live in? True happiness is free from any external impulses, so why should it matter?

The human being is a social being. Everyone grows up in small family units since no human offspring could ever survive without somebody else taking care of him. But we are not only dependent on another being taking care of us; we are dependant on its love, compassion, empathy or understanding of our needs, functions, wishes. That is what creates a certain bonding between two people and makes us social. A mother is born with an instinctual knowing how to raise a child, an inner voice of deep love and understanding for her children's needs. Given that she is connected to her inner centre of wisdom, she knows intuitively how to take care of her baby.

The child itself comes to this earth as a pure innocent being with a body like a huge antenna, sensitive to everything, which is around him. Children are born as empaths, beings who sense other beings energetically, especially their close ones. Their archaic sense of survival thrives on their need for love, unconditional love. But soon they learn that love isn't always unconditional but depends on certain settings. In a dual world that means that certain things are regarded as good while others are regarded as bad. The child's need for survival and with it its need for love and care and acceptance leads it to learn how to behave in a certain way. From the very beginning a child understands its environment based on the energetic frequencies it receives, and it can differ between all that is positive (love, understanding, care) and negative (rejection, cold, loneliness) based on its innermost need for survival. Our fear of death, or more positively expressed our will to live, makes us dependent on energies that we find in the outside world. That's one of the reasons why we let our social environment train us to know what good is and what bad. Dependent on others we are willing to function and work properly, according to a society that wants us to be in a certain way. And that without a conscious awareness of what is going on. This is only a theoretical statement, no judgement. I actually think this whole process of teaching each other what good is and what bad finds indeed its justification in a society that strives to function and thrive. If that dynamic didn't work the way it does between us, there would be a lot more chaos around us.

Now, our Western societies are based on performance, on achievement, on functionality, efficiency and so on. What counts is less who you are but what you achieved, your title, your job, your income, house, children, car, cottage, yacht maybe. There are definitely certain standards built around the word "success". Success in whatever way means love and acceptance, the same basic energies that we seek to find as a little child or baby even in the external (parental) world to guarantee our need for survival.

Not knowing or not willing to admit that we actually want to be loved for who we are, we need any positive reflection to uplift us, to prove us that we are right. We need love and we have learned to seek love on the outside rather than finding it inside of us. We are bound to the physical, the matrix of our limited perception.

Little by little, we all wake up and start struggling in a world of limitations, "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts". We want to be more creative, more free, and live more from the heart than from the mind. We have widened our field of perception already and are more sensitive to any kind of sensory or energetic input from the external. And we have gained some understanding that makes us look through the matrix. That makes us feel more pure and innocent but also helped to regain the ability to sense more and more of the energy around us, and to be more receptive for any kind of external impulses. Of course, some of us experienced this phenomena throughout their lives. They never got numbed by their society-influenced minds but did the whole journey as a hyper sensitive being that gets easily overwhelmed and affected by outside stressors. Anyhow, sooner or later spiritual practices like meditation, yoga and other awareness trainings lead to an increase of sensitivity. We regain the antennas that we had as children.

Now, everything in life is a vibration of different qualities, basically energy that comes with variant frequencies. Plus, we perceive the world through the judgemental filters of our minds, consciously or subconsciously. So if most of what we think is actually negative anyway, the world around us must be perceived as more negative as well. In addition to that, we get to know the majority of our world indirectly through the media, television, radio and all kinds of newspapers. Due to economic reasons and their given limitations the media chooses to present the world to us in a very sensation-orientated way, which mostly means that out of the billions and billions of things happening around the world we get to know the ones that are exceptional - exceptional cruel, bad, horrifying, great. Human attention wants to be fed with sensation of any kind and for some reasons negative news have become more exciting and more sellable than positive ones. I am not a big fan of conspiracy theories but maybe its more useful to feed the minds around the world rather with fear than with love or motivation. A fear-based mind is less likely to revolt.

Now imagine what we have here: We are surrounded by a negative output through an omni-present media that dictates our daily perception of the world. In addition to that, the frustration of living an unfulfilled live (because of the need to function that is fed by a basic sense of wanting to belong, be loved and accepted) leads to anger, aggression, illnesses and so on - well, basically it's all fear anyway. All this becomes the main part of our conversations, the bad news, the bad system, the bad lives that we have, so negativity gets perpetuated in our thought system every single moment. Our minds hardly ever take a break anyway. 

Our deep sense of wanting to belong to a society that accepts us only under certain conditions is only an expression of the need to be loved by an external source. Our macrocosm "society" in general is only a mirror for our microcosm "family" or "circle of friends" or even "relationship", where there's only two involved. We want to be loved. But now most of us feel out of synch. Daily work that is an obligation not a passion in a horrible world - wow. Why live actually? Cause we think one day in an uncertain future this all will get better. We will be happy eventually. Disney told us that there is always a happy end. Oh my god, what if not?

We all resonate with each other and influence each other that way. The more sensitive we are the easier we are to be influenced by other. Now, the individual wakes up and looks through the matrix, but it is hard to remain the high vibration of happiness that comes with awakening, cause the main vibration around us is lower and negative.

It's no secret anymore that our thoughts also carry a certain frequency. As well do our words. So what happens in a world where majority of the population feels out of synch, out of resonance with their hearts, with what is making them happy? Electric light came first, then the need to fulfil certain social standards, which made us dependant on income and created a ton of fears and new sicknesses along the way. People do work they hate on days where they would rather stay in bed, draw a picture, travel, meet people, make love, fulfil themselves? That is what I call out of synch. People tell me that's normal, but people nowadays are stressed, burned-out, depressed, anxious, and suicidal even. Why? Because we want to belong, to be loved, to be accepted.

And for that simple reason we all influence each other on an energetic level. We let others influence ourselves. Especially big cities with millions of people are more likely to produce a big grey mass of human functionality. The rest gets depressed or leaves.

Some of us dare to step out of that system, but its not easy to hold the vibration up high in a space where you feel you the only one.  We constantly reflect each other because of our conditioning, and it's in our conditioning also that we need positive feedback to feel loved from an external source. Yes, after a process of spiritual practices on the path to enlightenment, we will eventually find that we don't need any external source of approval, but it's definitely easier said than done! Just imagine to be a flower in a room with hardly any light and a soil that isn't very fertile. Will you grow more or less? Every flower will eventually grow, some faster though and easier though. Since we all go in resonance with each other we will naturally perceive everything (including ourselves) as more negative and heavier if our environment reflects that in an easily overwhelming density that is presented in big cities (another phenomena that I have a hard time understanding is why people seek to live in cities while we mostly go to find nature to relax and find new strength - that must mean that the cities we live in do not provide that. So why do I choose to live in a city if I feel better in nature? Comfort, work, I know..)

So, if we are all projections of another, we perceive ourselves through the other one. The law of resonance states that we can only perceive an energy if we have it inside of us as well. So we perceive ourselves in a negative world as more negative, because (as) negative (perceived) emotions like fear or despair are felt by us, resonate within us and get emphasized inside of us. We go out of synch and everything seems to go against us.

I feel there is a great need to form communities that support each other again, or to consciously surround us with more like-minded people that have the same mental goals at least. If we were all Buddhas or other enlightened beings (if we could only always remember!), we knew that there was no such things as negative and positive. Our minds can help us overcome the feeling of negative despair or depression remembering this, but it's also good to acknowledge that we are simply overwhelmed at times and exhausted by making the effort to stay in a healthy present state while we receive waves of lower frequencies into our energetic system over a long period of time. Don't be afraid. One day we all are going to reach the same goal. No matter whether we reach the Buddha state or not. God simply loves us, life does as well, no matter who we are, what we do, or what our title says. No matter how we look, no matter what we achieved or how much money we earn. Just be. Maybe there is no happy end to the story of life. Maybe this moment is as beautiful as it gets and it would still be incredibly amazing: the infinite NOW. Just be. Love. 

Practise positivity, dance, laugh. It's all about mental hygiene

In many shamanic societies, if you came to a shaman or medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions. When did you stop dancing? When did you stop singing? When did you stop being enchanted by stories? When did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence? Where we have stopped dancing, singing, being enchanted by stories, or finding comfort in silence is where we have experience the loss of soul. Dancing, singing, storytelling, and silence are the four universal healing salves.

Bunte Gedanken um Erleuchtung

Meine Gedanken sind zu bunt und es fällt mir schwer all das innen zusammen zu halten, was ich fühle, denke und sehe. Manchmal denke ich, ich habe das gesamte Leben erfahren und es gibt nichts, was ich noch sehen, denken oder erfahren will. Ich weiß, was Erleuchtung ist, Licht und absolute Dunkelheit. Ich bin verrückt geworden und wieder aufgestanden, habe geliebt, gelebt, getanzt, die Welt gesehen, geküsst, gefühlt, geschrien. Manche Menschen kennen diesen Reichtum gar nicht. Ich habe alles zugelassen und kann mich jetzt nicht mehr nur einer einzigen Sache widmen. Das wäre wie wenn Mutter Natur nur noch Nacktschnecken produzieren würde und von dem Rest ihrer ganzen Vielfalt absehen. Im Schein der Sonne zu stehen und den Regen auf den geschlossenen Augenlidern spüren ist eine Kunst, wie die des Liebens ohne Unterlass. Und ich will nur noch Künstler sein, Wahnsinnige inmitten von grauen Eminenzen, die ihr Leben anhand von Uhrenzeigern leben, gekettet an die kleinen silbernen Zahnräder, welche ihnen Bewegung garantieren. Das Leben ist nur ein einziger Moment, den man kosten sollte. Einmal wirklich dort gewesen, verschwinden das Morgen und die Vergangenheit und aus dem scheinbar endlosen Jetzt schwirren nur schier riesige Gedanken.

Magic clouds and Spiderwebs

Und dann beginnt die Zeit der magischen Wolken, die ungemein fröhlich wirken und dem Himmel ein zauberhaft verspieltes Lächeln verpassen. Auch wenn die Tage eigentlich grau sein sollten und der Himmel einfach nicht "in tune" mit meinem inneren Gemüt ist. Was hilft, ist über eine Wiese zu laufen und das saftig satte Grün der farbenfrohen Komposition in ihren unterschiedlichen Nuancen zu genießen. Und dann wieder diese Wolken. Diese flauschigen Luftgebilde, die jede Landschaft im Herbst wie ein Gemälde aus der Spätrenaissance erscheinen lassen. Das soll die Vorstufe zum Winter sein? Der Beginn der dunklen Jahreszeit? Es fühlt sich an, wie an der Schwelle zu stehen. Der Türbogen ist reich geschmückt, in blauen und weißen Tönen gehalten, fast schon wundersam. Was dahinter kommt, ist gänzlich unbekannt. Letzte Woche bin ich neben mir gestanden und etwas in mir ist schmerzvoll durch mich hindurch gebrochen und hat mich vom Himmel zurück auf die Erde befördert. Beide Füße berühren den Boden bei der Landung und plötzlich durchströmt mich diese groß-art-ige Energie. Ich bin ein Erdenwesen, nichts anderes bin ich je gewesen. Die Flügel besitze ich zwar, doch der Flug tut mir auf Dauer nicht gut. Dann ist es als würde ich mich verlieren in den endlosen Gefilden des Himmels mit seinen magischen Wolken. Und jetzt mit beiden Füßen fest am Boden kann ich wieder spüren, diese Kraft, diese Weisheit, die mich packt und trägt, die Liebe meiner universellen Mutter, der Erde, Pachamama. Und mit dieser Verbindung unter meinen Füßen, diese symbolische Verbindung zu meinem inneren Wissen, meiner Kraft, meiner Intuition, mit ihr stehe ich gern an der Schwelle, weil ich um die Fügungen weiß, die mir zuteil werden, ich weiß, dass ich die richtigen Entscheidungen treffen werde, eben weil ich verbunden bin mit meiner inneren Stimme. Unser Verstand wird immer die Brücke sein zwischen Himmel und Erde. Er lässt uns fliegen und er wird uns fallen lassen. Auch unter die Erde, da wo alles dunkel ist, aber auch feurige Schönheit regiert. Denn ohne die dunklen Momente gäbe es kein Bewusstsein von Licht. Das Ego kämpft um seine Daseinsberechtigung und erfindet sich immer wieder neu. Wir spielen überall Rollen, manchmal die gleichen, oft aber auch verschiedene. 

Und dann kann ich stehen bleiben vor einem Spinnennetz, was sich durch silbernen Nebel wiegt. Die Sonne hat sich in den dünnen Fäden des fantastischen Konstrukts gefangen und bricht sich hier den in satten Spektralfarben des sichtbaren Spektrums. Ich staune mit offenem Gemüt ob des kleinen Wunders dessen Zeuge ich hier werde. Die Spinne, das Tier, das schafft ein dreidimensionales Gebilde unerreichbaren Zaubers zu entwerfen, erwirbt sich gerade meinen absoluten Respekt. Und mit lächelnder Dankbarkeit im Herzen begehe ich meinen Weg in einen neuen Tag. Beide Füße fest auf dem Boden und bereit die Schwelle zu einer neuen Zeit zu überschreiten.