Thought stream getting lost from having a Great Vision of the Self to the Reawakening of present Touch

In the greatest vision of myself, I am a dancer. I dance only because it's making me happy. I am a singer, and I only sing because it's giving me joy. I am a free spirit, and I fly only to indulge myself - letting the wind tickle my wings. In the greatest vision of myself I am pure joy, and I love and laugh just recreate happiness in every moment. What is it that is holding me back from truly living this highest version of my being. Isn't it that all we can envision, we make come true?

Life is not about the outside world. Life is about living it only. It's about how we feel inside. There is nowhere to run. The meaning of life is just to be alive. It's so plain, so obvious and so simple. Everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it was necessary to achieve something beyond themselves. But their inner feeling is painful - anxiety or stress to an amount that it manifests in their physical bodies. But actually it's just about the achievement of happiness, an inner equanimity inside. To live every moment, the good ones, the bad ones as they come without denying any of them.

Emotion is the key to figuring out our multidimensional self, healing it and becoming one. And yet emotion has been pushed aside, given a bad name, and frowned upon. We have been automatons, performing roles that were given to us to keep us separated. We have nothing on which to pattern a positive image of the empowered feminine nor the empowered masculine, but mostly men are striving to be male and women are striving to be empowered through a male vibration because you do not have a clear vision of the empowered female. So, emotions are meant to be unhealthy.

Now, true happiness is a state that needs some sort of definition to satisfy the mind or else it becomes a state of illusion. In the course of life there will be no one who is always laughing and having a good time. We all go through different phases, even in the course of a single day. This is how growth occurs. When we find comfort in the discomfort and stillness in the chaos. This is where wisdom is heard. Every heart is filled with light, but to find the light you must first venture through darkness. To find the light, find the darkness. There is no other way. And yet, we want to be happy and joyful all the time. So, we got to embrace the sadness and start dancing with the anger and the upset. Great masters teach us that we need to welcome each one of those guests on our table. They all want to be heard and seen because they all become stronger and stay longer than necessary if they are ignored or supressed. If we could only meet those guests with great humour, simply for what they are: inconsistent appearances. They don't deserve to stay, to be analysed or attended for a long period of time, but they need to be recognised and acknowledged.

Imagine a thief comes into your house to steal something. You need to see him and to acknowledge that he wants to steal something from you. If you didn't recognise this, he would probably just run away with your money. But seeing him as what he his, enables you to act upon and call the police or chase him away. And as soon as he his gone, there is no need to attend him any longer. No need to carry him in our thoughts. When anger comes to steal our inner peace, it needs to be acknowledged, too to be able to respond accordingly. Feel it and then turn the focus to something different.

So, what happens when we are in a relationship? Our potential for personal growth is suddenly multiplied but also, at the same time the necessity to be much more present with what is actually going for me. Otherwise we simply put the responsibility for our own happiness on this other person and this is never going to work. One thing that we have to understand though first, is that we permanently co-regulate each other, mingle our energies and affect each other in ways that go beyond superficial understanding because the possible triggers could lie way past our consciousness. If you don't believe this, try this simple experiment with another person: Sit opposite each other, one closes the eyes. The other one chooses to think one sentence - either "I see what is wrong with you and I am going to fix you." or "You are perfect and I am going to enhance that perfection". Choose one sentence; look at the person with her eyes closed and focus on that sentence for one minute. Then, without telling the other person, choose the other sentence and focus on it for another minute while looking at the person. Then switch roles. In the end have both of you guess which sentences you focussed on first and after. You will be surprised. We CAN feel one another.

Great couples have great relationships because they are really choosing to live their lives together, hand in hand. People have great relationships because there is nothing that they would rather do and no one they would rather be with than their partner. They do things together, they engage in conversations more substantial than small talk and the routine “how was your day?” People need time to do their own thing and that is not only understandable but to be encouraged. People who have great relationships always return to their partner, though, because they truly enjoy each others company. And all the time, there is co-regulation taking place, mixing of energy and a mutual influence that goes beyond mental understanding. We feel each other and because we are open to each other, we also take on emotions, issues, challenges, and even thinking patterns. Did you never experience that you feel much lighter at times when we get out of the physical space of a certain person?

What about true intimacy then? Regardless of whether or not you are having sex, a lack of intimacy implies a lack of open, trusting communication about feelings. If one partner is hiding something, even a feeling, from the other partner, there is a type of breach of trust between the two which is happening especially because on a subconscious level we feel that something is not quiet right and it stirs up into our consciousness.

Our bodies are built for connection that goes far beyond the physical, but take let's the physical as a basis for a moment. We’re built to thrive on love, and intimate touch is a natural physical manifestation of love. And by intimate touch I mean the kind that says ‘I’m right here, fully present with you, in this moment,’ rather than intimacy, which is just about genital contact. It’s an intimacy, which can be shared with anyone we love, not just sexual partners. Studies have shown that the cells in our bodies expand when they feel love and contract when they feel its opposite, and our ability to use our touch to transmit that energy to another is an innate gift, which we all carry.

Reawakening that ability for loving touch can be one of the simplest and most beautiful gifts to ourselves and our loved ones. At its most basic, just showing up and being willing to touch someone with the intention of bringing healing or love can be a comforting experience for another. And sometimes it’s as easy as that. Touch connects people and increases that sense of trust and love in the world.

You will not be able to hear what another’s body is trying to say to you if your mind is busy, so bring your mind fully into the moment! Maybe synchronize your breathing with the person you’re touching. Being present brings a stillness, and it is intuition, a silent listening that reaches us through stillness. Trust that somewhere deep inside, you know how and where to touch them. Then follow your instincts, get on with it and see where it leads you. Feelings of pleasure and well-being aren’t just for the lucky one who’s being touched. The beauty of feeling another opening under your touch and discovering the depths that can be hidden in the body brings with it a deeper connection to the mysteries of life as well as a sense of profound gratitude for this simple gift.

And just as another experiment - in case you still don't believe that we feel each other, ask a person to close her eyes and try two variations of the same touch—stroke their arm once while thinking of your favorite movie and then a second time while intending that they feel your love. Then ask if they noticed any difference. 

The list is long if not endless. We do feel each other and therefore influence each other in good and in bad ways (if there exists such dual thing). An environment that is perceived as unsupportive can lead to a complete closure of the heart and loving emotions. Then, it can be a constant struggle to uphold a permanent positivity, patience or loving kindness. The body feels it as stress and as a permanent thread to its wellbeing. Once we are in love this is getting worse because initiate boundaries melt away while we engage with one another. We feel each other even more intense. So, let's be mindful for who we are and what we can cause. It is a human condition and part of the journey which we face during this earthly existence that we feel and that we are emotional. Yes, we can let all of that go as soon as it comes into awareness as I mentioned before but we can also be mindful with each other and give us some support on that journey here on this planet. Let's focus on that greater vision that we can have of ourselves and that we can actually bring forth into being. Let's be the dancers, the singers, the visionaries, the co-creators for a better way of engaging with each other and filling the world with more and light. Mitakuye Oyasin - We are all related. In Lak'ech - I am just another You. Anam Cara - Soulmate.